Grumpiness without a cause

Diane and I had recently had a great date and were happy with each other and our life. Appreciative and thankful.

So why was I Grumpy and Irritated with little things that she did, using too many spoons, not hanging up dish towels, stupid stuff that usually I don’t care about?

In looking into the pattern, I have discovered two things.  One, I am full up with everything I want and not used to simply appreciating what I have without wanting something more, or better, or different: like setting an athletic goal, going on an adventure, doing something like skiing that is fun.

And second, is that I have been entrained in the pattern physically.  It was my way of punishing others for not getting what I want.  Or it was a reaction to my physical pain, or my not being as good as I used to be in things like rowing or skiing.  What I actually saw was that I was physically grumpy, and emotionally grumpy, and I was desperately looking around for a cause!!  And I couldn’t find a cause because I have what I want. So in this instance there was the grumpiness looking for a justification, caught in the act: a grumpiness without a cause!

I realize I now have all this extra time and energy being happy with where I am.  I am no longer looking around for who I am going to be with and I am not so interested in just another goal or project to fill the empty space of boredom.  And I am unpracticed at appreciating what I have.  Finding beauty where I haven’t been looking.  Counting my blessings for all the abundance within which I live my life.

In the past, irritation and grumpiness have gone hand in hand and I have been reluctant to say I was irritated about since the things I was irritated about were so petty.  Now I have enrolled Diane in telling me if she notices me being grumpy and I am committed to getting off it, not being grumpy about her telling me I am grumpy!!

Such are the benefits of having the relationship we have.  I recognize that my grumpiness has just robbed us of the pleasure we so often experience together and I am committed to getting rid of that pattern.

May all our days be free from grumpiness!

All the best,

Landon


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